Rough Edges
by Converses Rolled Down
Summary: Story starts at the pilot did, meaning none of the characters have been established yet. This story has all the main characters a lot rougher around the edges than the show does. RM SS SK
1. Shadows Cast

Rough Edges

By: Converses Rolled Down

**A/N:** This chapter is a test to see if I should continue with this story. This is a dark, angst, yet romantic story along the lines of Jules456's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and 'Freedom', KC-Chick's 'Denying Fate.' or my own 'Just Let My Blood Drip.' This story has the main characters a whole lot edgier than on the show, this season or last. This story begins where the pilot did, meaning none of the characters have been established yet, and Ryan isn't with the Cohens as of now, and Summer still has no clue who Seth Cohen is. Please review and let me know if this is a good start and if you want any more chapters, if I continue this will be an R/M, S/S, Kandy, J/J, J/K, and J/H, fan fiction.

**Important:** This story will be intense, meaning a lot of drug use, sexuality, self-mutilation, teen pregnancy, and drinking.

**Here it is…**

The steel mattress stung his back, but it was nothing new. No, Ryan Atwood knew full and well the harsh texture of the Chino Juvenile Facilities' beds; he'd been held in that cell over night, he tried to steal a car-no his brother tried to steal it, Ryan just couldn't leave and let Trey take the fall by himself. His baby blue eyes shifted to the ceiling, chips of white paint hung loosely-as if daring Ryan to move, he was used to things crumbling around him but sick of trying to hold them up. He lifted his arm and placed it behind his head-now almost in a sitting position.

"Atwood, you got a visitor," the guard bellowed.

He got to his feet and walked to the steel bars, which were swiftly becoming Ryan's natural surroundings.

"Yeah, who,"

"Don't be a smart ass. It's some lawyer," the guard opened the door with a couple twists of his keys, and grabbed hold of Ryan's arm and led him down the corridor.

Chants were mounting as he passed each cell; the first ones were innocent comments like, "fresh meat," or "Momma's boy." But, the further the corridor went the worse the comments became; "Bring him on over here officer, need to make him a man," "Crush you with one hand boy," and "Looks like a nice fuck." Ryan didn't let the other inmates see him shutter, he just glared back at the floor; avoiding their hollow eyes. Finally they came to the end, a loud BUZZ and the last gate, between Ryan and freedom, opened.

"Cohen?" The guards yelled out into the lobby; waiting until he saw a man with bushy eyebrows approach him.

"Yes, Sandy Cohen," an id badge flung open, reflecting the remaining late from the Californian sun into the guard's eyes.

"This way,"

Ryan was led to a slender blue table in the middle of what used to be the mess hall-they closed it down after some guy was killed during lunch with a tray; made it into a visitor room. The guard pushed him into a seat; he nodded at Sandy and stepped a couple feet away, enough to not hear the conversation but still close enough to catch Ryan if he ran.

"Sandy, Sandy Cohen," he stuck out his hand for Ryan to shake, but found no hand placed in his, "okay. Well, I spoke with the police officer who arrested you and your brother, and it seems you were just a passenger. He told me you looked unsure of why you were there. Was the car jacking your brother's idea?"

Ryan just looked at Sandy, his eyes slightly slanted.

"Ryan…isn't that your name?"

Ryan sat completely still-his mouth barely moved with the words, "yeah."

"Well, Ryan, I think I can get you out on probation. Would that be okay?"

"What about Trey?"

"Trey is eighteen years old Ryan, he has a longer rap sheet, he'll be in jail a while."

Ryan sighed at looked at his hardened hands.

"I don't understand it. You seem to be a great student; an SAT score of 1400, a GPA of 3.8. You're a smart boy Ryan; don't you want to make something of yourself? Don't you have a dream?"

Ryan leaned in; whispering, "Where I come from, having a dream doesn't make you smart. Knowing it won't come true...that does."

Sandy shook his head, "I'm going to sign you out, stay here."

Ryan looked to the guard who stood with his hand on his pistol, "I'm not goin' anywhere."

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The ground in front of her spun until she collided with the cold cement; making her one with the revolving green swirls, she felt as blood trickled from her temple to the corners of her water deprived mouth. Small coughs of laughter came from behind her almost life-less body.

"She's so gone," some squeaky voice announced.

"Hey Luke! Your girlfriends passed out on the porch," screams struck her ears like a thousand needles filled with air.

She managed to murmur her best friend's name, "Summer."

Luke's arms wrapped around her before she could protest "check this out," he spun her around and placed her on the ground again. Giggles and snorts were the last sound she heard before sinking sharply into her comfortable, soothing, and familiar darkness. No one could bother her here, no one could call her 'perfect' in here, no one spoke in here, and no one could damage her in here. The drugs, no matter how many times she heard 'they'll kill brain cells,' seemed to be the only thing that could bring her to this echo of reality. Cocaine was nothing innovative to Newport, but it was hard to find in her little bubble suburb. Marissa Cooper, however, knew how to get what she wanted, she always had and no one was going to deny her this escape…no one.

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Hands ran over her body not stopping; even if she cried out no one would hear her. She felt the faulted skin against her own, and cringed as rubbery hands removed the clothing that was left. Innocence isn't in her anymore she misplaced that necessity- which every other sixteen year old seemed to still have- but it wasn't her fault, just like this isn't her fault. She shivered as cold trails of kisses went up her neck to her lips; she tasted the evil in his kisses, tasted the sin and hatred in them. She pulled again at the rope around her wrists, but he tied them so tight they felt like another part of her body; her invaded, stolen body. Sweat made her hair stick to her face, and the tape that covered her chocolate brown eyes gave her no vision of the man on top of her.

'_I need to see his face, I need to tell someone about this, I need to scream, I need to get free.'_

The burning she felt inside finally stopped, she was alone in the dark. Darkness had never scared her before, in fact nothing picked at her soul the way this pitch black abyss did. She lifted her limp body as best she could, and struggled again with the slowly slipping rope on her wrists. Summer Roberts…raped?

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Alright that is all I have so far...let me know by clicking that little blue button and submiting a review, and if I get enough reviews of people who like it I will continue when I can...and I promise I will update if you people like it. Because thus far I like the way it is...you just let me know if I should continue.


	2. Not as I Seem

**A/N:** Sorry I meant to put Seth's introduction on the last update as well but I couldn't write it when I wrote the other ones. His was a lot harder to write since Seth never really shows his flaws on the show, except to be sarcastic. The only thing I could think of was when he cried when Kirsten was sent away, so I made Seth a little more open to emotion, and did the best I could. I don't think this chapter is near the caliber of the last one, that one…I was really proud of. Let me know if this one meets the bar that the last chapter set.

**Disclaimer:** Please I own nothing but the clothes on my back and the converse on my feet!

**Dedicated:** This chapter is dedicated to KC-Chick and Jules456.

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Rough Edges

The lights flickered, giving small glimpses of the rooms' surroundings, softy affected by the mind-numbing lights he slid further into his covers. The clock teased him, calling out the lameness of being in bed at eight thirty at night. The day flew threw his mind:

"_Queer,"_

"_Geek,"_

"_Homo,"_

"_Loser,"_

"…_Do I know you?"_

"_Nerd,"_

Cold, solid tears rolled down his sunken cheek and into his mouth; he welcomed the all too common taste of salt. The lights flashed again, showing the wetness on his face to the world. He cringed at the thought of Luke observing him as he was now, as he always was inside. Only so many sarcastic remarks could be made in response to 'queer' or 'loser.' He had used every one. The pain inside him churned without an escape.

No one, at least no one he knew, flirted with the thought of self-conclusion. His soft, unloved, hand guided his fingers to his wrist fumbling over beaten scars imprinted on his skin. He sighed with some relief knowing at least he was able to transmit some of his inner agony to outer agony. The scars represented every vulgar remark made towards him, every pair of eyes that evaded his own, every hate filled giggle behind his back, every party he missed while under the mask of tears and every friend he didn't have. Life was not something enjoyable for him, with each flutter of his eyes he wished for a new and better existence.

Hiding his barely beating heart was the only way to elude the tears at Harbor. However, looking into those coffee, chocolate brown eyes made his life a little more worth living. If only Seth Cohen could get those love filled eyes to notice him, then maybe he could taste her cherry lips instead of his own salty tears.

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Ryan's eyes squinted as the California sun bore down on his face; his mother's beat up hatch back traveled over the curb and came to a stop in front of him.

"Get in the damn car Ryan," Dawn yelled not looking up from her drink.

"Here's my card if you ever….need anything," Sandy whispered as he handed the delicately engraved card to him.

Ryan nodded, hoping his mother had water in her glass as opposed to what he knew it was.

Sandy watched as the car fumbled on the badly laid streets, wishing with all his heart that Ryan would call him soon.

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Unhurried tears rolled down her cheeks and onto her down comforter. No matter how many times she had been through the stages of 'her' drug, the lows always caught her by surprise.

Darkness seemed to lurk behind her shadows; her eyes were unaware of the concerned looks of her family. Her once vibrant eyes now were listless, her golden locks now stuck to her forehead with sheer exhaustion, and her beautiful complexion now dawned a china-white tone.

Her world was floating away from her, laughing at her as she stands abandoned. Marissa Cooper, the all American girl, was burning on the inside, quietly weltering like a flower forsaken without water.

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The smallest touch to her skin and she would recoil, with shame. The whore, slut, prostitute, "girl with open legs" sat on her bitterly cold shower floor in her abandoned mansion gently weeping into her hands. She had become what everyone had said she was…a whore. No way to go back now, her virginity-very essence of innocence-had evaporated on that very bed in Holly's beach house.

The feathery drops of water did nothing to renew her, just masked the tears that poured down her face. How could she face any boy now? The first question in her mind would be 'is he the one who raped me?' It was hard to say that word…rape. It sounded so pleasant…and it definitely was not that, it was filthy, humiliating, painful, immoral, and scary. 'Rape' didn't sound like it fit, but no words could even begin to describe what happened to her last night, nothing…emptiness was all she could think of that came close.

Summer Roberts the whore.

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Alright now I want you to review...that is if you want me to be a better writter and continue on this path that is ROUGH EDGES! The button is your friend...he loves you...but not as much as I will if you click him...:-) 


	3. Shallow Movements

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, I was real busy this week at school with choosing a play for my school…I am a Senior and my school is a small and Christian private school so Seniors in the Drama class get to choose the play, and I am one of three "divas" (meaning Senior, because no Senior guys are in Drama) so I have a lot of say. We picked The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I am going to play "Lucy" the little girl who discovers Narnia. Anyway, I found a little extra time on my Labor Day break so here it is people….p.s. I need reviews. Thanks to those who did.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my converse all stars.

**Shout Outs: TeacherTam:** I was "made fun of" in middle school as well so I wrote 'Seth' based on what I reread in my diaries from 5th-7th grade. Anyway, I know what you mean no words really seem to describe what kids can do to other kids at that age, I am 18 now and some things still haunt me to this day. I am sorry you had to go through that too, I know how bad that can hurt I hope I wrote 'Seth' and his feelings accurately…I really tried to connect with those "ridiculed" feelings.

**KC-Chick:** Thank you for your wonderful reviews I really feel proud when I read them; the fact that you like my writing and the way you express your liking of it, makes my day…it really does.  Keep reviewing…every time I get an email of Review Alert: KC-Chick I get truly excited. Thank you.

**Sis2ACesarSalad:** Thanks for reviewing, yeah I will eventually make it RM but you're right it will be a while but you wouldn't want them pushed together too soon….right? Appreciate the awesome reviews.

**I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies:** A Tea Party sounds nice lol. You Rock too! And the part with 'Seth', I'm glad you found it in character means a lot I was worried about that.

And to all other reviews I really do appreciate each and every one…but I need time to write so I had to stop here. Thank you so much and enjoy!

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Rough Edges

Ryan walked behind his mother into the house; never could it be called a home-a home entailed love, hope, joy, laughter, and none of that was produced here. Dawn threw her coat onto the sofa revealing that she hadn't even bothered to dress out of her night gown-why inconvenience yourself with clothes when you knew you'd be drunk all day. Ryan sighed when he saw AJ on the sofa with a glass of whiskey.

"Don't you have a family, or a trailer to go home to?" Ryan quipped.

"What did you say to me?" AJ stood, chest out, puffing hard against Ryan.

"You heard me you lazy ass, all you do is rob my mom and me of the cash we make for your beer belly."

AJ snorted with laughter, "you sure you want to start this boy?"

"I'm not a boy, I'm more of a man than you are, ever will be."

AJ punched stiffly into Ryan's soft boyish face, causing him to fall back over the arm of the sofa, "bitch."

Ryan grabbed at his face as he stood, "you're ganna let him do that to me ma'?"

"Why the hell not you deserved it," she yelled from the kitchen.

"Hit me boy, go on you know you want to, won't hurt me. Little pussy you couldn't hurt me if you tried," AJ threatened.

"Yeah," Ryan stood straight up looking him in the eye before crashing his fist into AJ's misplaced teeth.

Dawn ran over, barefoot, and pushed Ryan into the screen door, "you get out of here, you're not worth nothin'; you get out before I call the cops."

Ryan nodded and held the tears inside; he'd been holding tears in since he was a toddler. If he lost a toy-he held it in. If he broke a bone-he held it in. When he first got his heart broken-he held it in. When a girl left him-he held it in. When his dad died-he held it in. When found out his brother would be in jail for a long time-he held it in. When Sandy left-he held it in. His emotions never escaped him, not once, he'd been able to be wooden faced for so long that soon people thought he had no heart at all, at least not a warm one.

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Sandy sat his briefcase down on the granite countertop in his kitchen, still seeing Ryan's face as the car speed off into a certain hell. Soft arms spread across his back and finally resting on his waist, he turned and kissed Kirsten on the lips-yet he lacked the usual love in this one.

Kirsten noticed, "What's wrong Sandy?"

He sighed and moved away from her, "This kid I saw today. He broke my heart. When he was talking…I saw Seth, I saw Seth in real pain."

Seth stepped into the kitchen, his eyes slightly pink from the burning tears, "You saw me what?"

Sandy smiled widely and took his son into his arms, "Seth, you are worth something, you know that don't you?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my father?" Seth backed out of the hug and grabbed a pudding from the fridge.

Kirsten laughed, "Pudding it's almost dinner time?"

"Exactly," he stated as he walked back up to his room.

Sandy sat down on the stool closest to his wife, "I can't let this boy die away Kirsten."

"What boy?"

"Ryan, a new client, well no longer a client, he's out now."

"Don't worry Sandy, I'm sure he is just fine," she planted kisses on his lips then onto his neck, lovingly patting his back before standing and returning to her earlier, failed, task of making dinner.

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He slammed the phone down and rested his forehead on the receiver.

'_Shit, who am I ganna call now? Jorge wasn't home, Arturo doesn't have room, Lakan was evicted, and Scott never has that guest room free.' _

His hand fumbled inside his jacket pocket finally resting on cardboard, Ryan pulled it out reading the inscription carefully, "Sandy Cohen." The number crawled into his mind as he debated whether or not to call.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" Someone on the other end echoed.

"Yes, is Sandy Cohen there?"

"This is he."

"Sandy, this is Ryan Atwood; I was wondering if you had a place I could stay…I mean you said I could call…,"

"Of course, where are you?"

"Corner of Spade and Garden Avenue,"

"I'll be right there; you stay there and wait for me okay?"

"Thank you," Ryan delicately whispered.

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Her hands fell into the velvety pockets of her coat; maybe if she just acted sick she wouldn't have to explain the dark circles or the fixed tears that washed over her once beautiful face. She stopped short of the last stair and grabbed her stomach; jagged, and excruciating pain over came her, and she stumbled down to the floor crying out for anyone who could hear her feeble screams.

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Marissa walked her usual course over to Summer's house; it was Sunday and "The Valley" marathon was going to be on soon. Though the health was drained out of her, she knew seeing her best friend sing along to "The Valley" theme song would bring a smile to her face.

Summer's window was directly in her view; she saw that the drapes were pulled so tightly they looked transparent. The house looked abandoned from her distance. She walked faster and began to run when she heard terrible screams from the house.

Marissa pushed on the halfway opened door to see Summer on the ground clutching her stomach; surrounded in blood.

"Oh my God Sum!"

Summer tried but no words escaped her; she simply pulled Marissa closer and cried tenderly.

Soon all sound and sight left Summer, disappearing into the unknown, all she saw was utter darkness and all she heard were the ruffling of the sheets she was raped upon, and all her movements were shallow and unmotivated. No feeling of loneliness as there had been before, no rough hands crawled over hers, and no tears stained her cheeks; she was entirely numb to life…and she liked it that way.

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Not my best work but you be the judge...and be honest, I like honesty especially when it comes to my writing. I promise I will tryto make the next updatelonger. Okay now click your little friend :-)


	4. Something New

Rough Edges

**A/N:** sorry it has been a long, long time since my last update but I have been crazy busy with school and other things. I promise this update was worth the wait….at least I hope it was. I will try to update more often but I really don't know with my schedule and surgery…dental surgery. Thank you all for the great reviews they really do keep me going. A special thanks to Julz. Oh hey Julz are you considering Emerson as a choice for college? …I thought you said that in one of your updates. That is my #1 choice! But I need to get my SAT scores up.  I loved all the reviews they really do keep me writing; without them I don't think I could do this. God bless, Converses Rolled Down.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my converse all stars.

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Slow, monotone beeps drowned out the sound of nurses calling out for help and the "my god…"'s. Soon, she heard relieved breaths escape that of, who she assumed was, the doctor. He called to the nurses; she could only make out so much:

"Get this girl into a room…she is okay…a lot of blood…tell her friend she is alright…looks terrible…something more to the story."

After his last words "the story" she fell into an uncomfortable and unwanted sleep. There was nothing to do but surrender to the drowsiness that was tugging at her eyelids.

A soft hand was placed atop her own, slowly rubbing the blood into her hand again. This hand was angelic, lifesaving; it seemed to know how to make Summer feel alive again, make her feel less jaded. A calming voice spoke to her: "Listen, I know you don't really know me…but I heard what happened and….well, I'm sorry. No one should have that done to them, especially someone like you. Someone so…beautiful; I'm sorry I said that, I mean I meant it but I shouldn't have said that to you. I mean you don't even know who I am. I would have brought you some flowers," the voice faintly laughed, god Summer loved the vibrations running through her as this voice spoke, and this hand stroked hers, "but I think you've got enough of those." Suddenly, a crash was heard coming from the hall and the hand detached itself from Summer's. Summer was terrified that something might have scared the voice off; she cried for its return.

Within a few seconds the hand returned, just as it had never left, still as temperate and gentle as it had been. "I knew you'd get a lot of flowers and cards," the voice paused; Summer detected nervousness in it, "so, I brought you something else, something I thought was more original. I'm ganna leave it right here, on your table for you. Maybe you can listen to it when you are better…you will get better Summer, I promise you that."

The way the voice said, 'Summer, I promise you that,' was so confident as if it knew the outcome. She felt as the hand lifted off hers, and she heard the careful footsteps that the voice made down the hall. Something that voice said calmed all of her; made her feel like she was renewed again and the rape never brought her here, something else had.

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The sun seemed brighter here, the grass greener, the smells sweeter, and definitely prettier girls. He laughed at the last thought, Theresa wouldn't have liked it but it was true.

Ryan sunk deeper into the leather, letting his muscles relax and a small grin come to his face.

"Thinking about something?" Sandy observed the boy, who seemed lost in thought.

"What?" Ryan coughed, "Oh, I wasn't thinking about anything; just admiring the car. I didn't think your kind of lawyer made this much money."

Sandy nodded, "My wife, she makes the money."

The rest of the ride was silent, except for Ryan's occasional sigh. The car reached what Ryan assumed was Sandy's home.

"You stay here I got to talk to the wife first," he hesitated about leaving the keys in the ignition.

"It's not as much fun when you have the keys," Ryan starred directly into his bush-covered eyes.

Sandy nodded; left his keys and walked inside.

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Her hand rested on her cheek as she waited for the nurse to return; she watched as shadowy figures walked amidst the women dressed in white.

"Marissa Cooper?" Someone called.

"What…yeah,"

"It's okay to see her now."

She nodded, and followed the nurse down the dark hall.

'_God Summer, if you leave me I don't know how I would make it…I never meant to leave you alone at that party, this is all my fault. You told me not to leave you there; I went to get drugs while you were being…being…raped. Seeing you in that puddle of blood, screaming for me…it tore my heart out, well if I have one, I'm not sure I do at this point,' _Marissa couldn't stand her own thoughts.

Her tears blinded her, making walking a very difficult task. She ran straight into a cart of food, knocking several plates to the floor all at once. She laughed at the irony; she could walk perfectly under her drugs yet a couple salty tears and she was down for the count. The nurse had already begun to pick up the shattered plates when Marissa realized she was just standing there. She inspected a section of the crimson tray; examined the sharpness and imagined the shapes it would make if she were to slash it across her porcelain skin. The nurse coughed, subtly letting Marissa know she was finished. She looked up into the green-blue eyes of this savior, this person who saved lives daily; this caring human being; who was probably disgusted by the looks and attitude of every daddy's girl that came in here-like Marissa. Out of no where the door to Summer's room opens and a figure stepped out. Marissa stood; trying to put a name with the form that stood some ten feet before her. She walked forward only to see the figure retreat to the opposite side of the hallway, turning its back to her.

She laid her hand on the door, deciding if she truly wanted to see her friend this way.

"Summer," she questioned once she had the nerve to enter the room.

No answer came.

Complete silence tore at her ears.

"I'm so sorry," she broke down; ruining her plan of being brave for Summer. "I never should have left you there," she reached out and pulled hair from Summer's badly bruised face. "Maybe if I hadn't left you wouldn't have been…raped. Yeah, they told me Summer, and I am so sorry," Marissa wept softly into her hands, "and maybe if I had been at your house earlier you wouldn't have fallen."

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Honestly the only thing that keeps me typing is that little friend you all know so well...the review button. Please if you like this story and say so to your little friend I will continue. Also, constructivecriticism that's helpful as well.

Love, C.R.D


	5. Smoke, Wine, Horses, & Screams

Rough Edges

**A/N:** I found a little bit of time Monday night and wrote a bit…I know the chapters are not long but I do the best I can. Love me or leave me. Well, on with what you people want…my story. I love writing this, but I love reviews more.:-) So leave me a little bit of feedback by clicking on the little man you all need to know by now. Love, Converses Rolled Down.

This chapter is **dedicated** to my most faithful reviewers…KC-chick, I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies, slimkay, dodgeviper, and Jules.

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Ryan rolled the cigarette between his fingers, debating whether it was smart to light up or not. He couldn't fight the tobacco monkey on his back by himself, so he slid his lighter out of his coat pocket and ignited the night air. The smoke slowly filled his awaiting lungs when he saw something or rather someone move into his range of sight. He locked eyes with them and stepped closer into the light.

'_She's beautiful,' _Ryan thought as his sapphire eyes scanned her body.

"Who are you?" The gorgeous creature asked.

He tilted his head; girls seemed to like when he looked at them like that-at least the ones back in Chino did, "whoever you want me to be."

She laughed, "Okay."

'_Damn it, I blew it.'_ Ryan deeply inhaled, causing her to glance at him once more.

"Hey, can I bum a smoke?"

Ryan nodded and moved closer to her, never once taking his bold eyes from her soft blue ones. He brought another cigarette out from its crisp box, and held it out for her. She smiled and leaned in to light her cigarette from his gradually dissolving one. She smiled.

'_Oh god, she's beautiful. She smiled at me…what the hell is wrong with me it's just a girl…I used to be good at this. No feelings, no "oh god she's beautiful." It's just another girl, another opportunity for sex.'_

Once she was smoking on her own, Ryan backed away to lean on the lamp post; still transfixed by her.

"What are you doing here?"

He pushed himself off the lamp post and walked closer to her, stopping at a mail box and placing his hand on it to hold himself up, "I stole a car; actually my brother, Trey, stole a car, crashed it , and got thrown in jail. I got off, but my brother-he had a gun and some drugs on him. I went back to Chino only to have my piss-drunk mother kick me out, so Mr. Cohen took me in."

She paused; digesting the story, Ryan assumed, "You're the cousin from Boston right?"

Ryan nodded.

"Marissa Cooper, I live next door," she smiled again, and suddenly threw the cigarette on the ground, "Hey Mr. Cohen."

'_Oh, god she's beautiful.'_

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Kirsten watched as Sandy chatted with Marissa Cooper and brought the boy to the front door, she sighed and drank the last of the wine in her glass.

"Kirsten, this is Ryan. Ryan this is my lovely wife Kirsten."

She smiled weakly and escorted them inside, "What did Miss. Cooper have to say?"

"Oh, she invited Ryan to the fashion show…Casanova," Sandy retorted.

Ryan blushed, but only slightly.

"Ryan you can stay in the pool house."

"Thanks." He avoided her eyes; he didn't want to see the fear or distain that was carefully placed in them.

"I'll go get you some sheets, and pillows," she turned on her heels and headed down a long corridor.

"She'll come around, don't worry about her." Sandy watched his wife grab the first linins she could find.

Kirsten past her husband and shot him a glare, it was as if she were reminding him of the promise he had made earlier, 'Just a couple days, I promise.'

"This way Ryan," Kirsten walked him out to the pool house and lay the sheets on the bed, "you need anything else?"

Inside Ryan laughed-_'I wouldn't mind having Marissa Cooper,' _–"No, thank you Mrs. Cohen."

"Call me Kirsten," she smiled, he was an okay kid; at least he had some manners which she couldn't say about Seth.

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Seth climbed carefully back through the open window and finally collapsed on his window seat. "Holy crap, I don't think I've gotten that much exercise since the water polo jerks took my underwear and hung it up the flag pole," he laughed and rested Captain Oats on his thrashing chest. He smiled and shut his eyes; mentally re-drawing the events in his mind.

"**Listen, I know you don't really know me…but I heard what happened and….well, I'm sorry. No one should have that done to them, especially someone like you. Someone so…beautiful; I'm sorry I said that, I mean I meant it but I shouldn't have said that to you. I mean you don't even know who I am. I would have brought you some flowers but I think you've got enough of those...I knew you'd get a lot of flowers and cards so, I brought you something else, something I thought was more original. I'm ganna leave it right here, on your table for you. Maybe you can listen to it when you are better…you will get better Summer, I promise you that." **

He rubbed his hand, that had hours before been placed atop hers, it was softer now; her lotion had made its way onto his hand and wouldn't leave-not that he wanted it to.

"You think, she will remember me Captain Oats?" He sighed.

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'_Come back, come back…I need you. Please.' _Tears rolled down her cheek as she cried out for her comfort- her unknown comfort, her need, her air, her mystery voice.

"She had a pretty nasty fall, Mr. Roberts, she cracked her head open, and broke a couple ribs but I think she'll be just fine."

The doctor's voice stopped, and suspended Summer's heart in the stale hospital air.

"However, there is one thing to address. Summer…well; she had a large amount of Xtacy in her system and large bruises around her thighs. Mr. Roberts, I believe your daughter was drugged and raped."

Silence.

Then a scream, only it wasn't her fathers, it wasn't her step mothers, and it wasn't Marissa's…it was her own.

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'_Oh, god he's gorgeous.'_

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Please, please, please let me know how that was...I probably will write some more tomorrow night but this is all I could get done before I had to do homework. I hope it's good, this is actually my favorite chapter so far what about you guys? Favorite chapter, character, story line? Let me know how you are liking it; it helps me to write, motivates me...makes me update faster. Love, C.R.D. 


	6. Awaking Without Dreams

Rough Edges

------------Chapter 6: Awaking Without Dreams

**A/N: **Hey guys, sorry about the lack of updating I have been crazy busy with SATS, looking at colleges, and writing a paper for my English class. I am now starting practices for my school's play but I LOVE to write this so when I can I will be writing! Trust me I love writing and updating as much as you guys like when I update! I am having surgery Friday but I should be up and going again on Sunday, so I might be able to update at that point in time. I miss my show so bad it hurts...and what is Marissa doing having sex (possibly I am pretty sure she will) with that surfer who already has a girlfriend. **She sucks!** I would never do that to Ryan he loves her so much, how bad did you all feel when she called him telling him she was going to hang out with Johnny, Chili, and Casey and not to come pick her up? He told her he hadn't even left the house, but he was already there and early too- because he loves her. She takes him for granted! Anyway I have to address one review in particular (the rest are at the bottom):

**this is interesting but**, who said "you can't rape somebody on ecstasy," you are right my friend but the doctor only said that it was in her system it doesn't mean that was all the rapist did to keep her from screaming or running or something, be patient I know what I am doing, at least with that part I do…I read some story on a girl that was raped at a party jam packed with people and I am following her rapists MO to write Summer's rape as accurately as I can. But yes I know X alone is not enough to sedate someone so you can rape them. The issue of how she was held down and everything will be addressed soon.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my converse all stars, and even that isn't totally legit.

Happy Readings, Converses Rolled Down.

* * *

The only things she could recall now was the look on her "step monster's" face, her father's rapid intake of breath, and that voice; the one that gave her the strength, the necessity to scream out to be heard by the world again. She watched as doctor, after doctor, after doctor came in to look at her with shocked eyes. She laughed inwardly as she felt she had somehow fooled them all into thinking she was a vegetable. Summer was not about to be taken under by some mere boy and his rapid moving hands. She closed her eyes to try to dream again, only to awake several hours later- remembering no dreams, and finding Marissa beside her bed. 

"Hey," Summer whispered.

"Hey Sum," Marissa smiled, but it was weak enough for Summer to know something was on her mind.

"What is it Coop?"

"God Summer, you think I'm here to talk about myself," Marissa stood, and realized she said that with more anger than she intended, "sorry."

"Spill," Summer laughed, Marissa Cooper had been her best friend since about the second grade. She could vividly remember the other second graders laughing at her name and how it wasn't a name at all but a season, and not playing with her because her clothes weren't clean enough. Well, Marissa had been late on her arrival to school that day, and when she showed up she commanded the room-turning everyone's eyes to her and whom did she decide to sit next beside at lunch? Why of course the one little brown eyed girl who had no one to giggle with or share her peanut butter sandwich with-from then on they were attached at the hip, and no one made fun of Summer's name ever again.

"Sum," Marissa waved her delicate hand over Summer's face, "you there?" she laughed.

"Yeah sorry, what did you say?"

Marissa laughed, "I didn't say anything. Are you sure you're okay?"

Summer smiled weakly, casting a glance at her side table- she reached out for the one object sitting up disturbed upon it.

"So, you going to be alright Summer? I mean I don't think they can catch who ever..." she couldn't say it; it still didn't register that her friend could be raped, at a Newport party no less.

"Raped me, you can say it Coop." She examined the perfectly (Christmas wrapped) present from her beautiful stranger.

"What's that?" Marissa reached out for the object occupying all Summer's attentions, only to be smacked on the wrist.

"Mine," Summer announced.

Marissa laughed, _'rage blackouts,' _she thought.

"I'm sorry I meant to tell you Marissa, I really did...it's just I..." Summer struggled with the tears, and having never cried in front of Marissa tried to restrain her emotions- the ones she used to have control over.

"Oh Sum," she placed her hand on Summer's, "you have nothing to be sorry about. Not now, not ever; I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for you."

Summer finally tore the paper; opening the one thing she thought might make this whole thing feel a tiny bit better.

"A CD," Marissa stated, "Who's it from Summer?"

Summer looked up and raised her eyebrows at her; secretly loving the torture Marissa was going through.

"Sum? Come on you can't leave me out in the cold like this...Summer Roberts!"

Summer grinned, "A friend." She flipped the CD over, and began reading the songs off to herself, _'Summer Skin- Death Cab for Cutie, Secret Oath- Spill Canvas, Such Great Heights- Iron and Wine, Delicate- Damien Rice, Only One- Lifehouse, Brown Eyed Girl- Everclear, Dare You to Move- Switchfoot, You're So Damn Hott- OK GO, A Message- Coldplay, Teenage Dirtbag- Wheatus, Sunrise Sunset- Bright Eyes, The Tide- Spill Canvas, Strange and Beautiful- Aqualung, Passenger Seat- Death Cab for Cutie, Cold Wind- Arcade Fire...' _About one hundred more followed what she read, and Marissa exhausted herself trying to figure out who would have given her this...surely not Chip or was it Chad?

"So are you going to tell me what has you smiling like that?" Summer finally spoke up and looked at her friends giant grin, "Luke do something romantic?" This last statement was followed by several minutes of laughter by both girls.

"No," Marissa debated over whether or not to tell her of the beautiful Ryan; whom she found wondering around on the driveway at the Cohen's house, "His name is Ryan."

------------

Ryan's worn eyes finally adjusted to the California sun, in Chino the smug was to thick- he thought global warming had already started, but apparently, he was wrong. His nose made its way into the kitchen, his body soon followed. He heard a sheltered "hello" from somewhere in the room; he search and finding nothing proceeded to make breakfast.

"HEY!" Seth shouted, god this kid was deaf.

Ryan jumped, "scared me. Are you Seth?"

"The one and only," he stood in a superhero stance and seeing no response coughed out of embarrassment, "wanna play?"

Ryan put the pans down and made his way into the living room, gladly excepting the controller from Seth; he had never done anything like this...playing video games. He guessed he had never really had a childhood; no, he was sure that nothing of fun or joy had since existed in his life.

"Grand Theft Auto, you can steal cars...which...is cool...or not cool," Seth debated on what Ryan would want to hear.

"It's fine let's just play man."

Seth smiled, he liked this Ryan person; he didn't seem like those water polo playing jock straps at his school, "Good idea."

"See he's a nice boy," Sandy proudly stated.

Sandy and Kirsten had watched the scene unfold from the kitchen.

Kirsten patted his chest, "good boy," she laughed, as she walked over to pour her coffee.

"Got a pretty good judge of character," Sandy congratulated himself.

"WHO'S YOUR DADDY,"

"Sandy Cohen," Kirsten answered as she held out a coffee to Ryan.

He nodded his head in thanks and took the cup to his lips.

"Like boats?"

* * *

**More addressing of the reviews:**

**KC-Chick:** Thank you, thank you; yeah I am kind of following that basic layout of the fantastic four being able to help one another, but you'll just have to wait and see how I pull that all together. You are very welcome, for the review I gave you, I meant every word…you are a fantastic reader and reviewer. Thanks.

**I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies:** Thanks, that last chapter did mean a lot to me…I guess you're right that's why it was my favorite. Glad you liked my nonchalant RM and SS moments.

**TeacherTam: **Glad you enjoyed my adding in yet twisting of the pilot I didn't know how well that would go over, but if you're happy then I'm happy. Thanks.

**Slimkay:** Here is your update. :-)

**Surf Nerd 08:** yeah that is kind of what this story is about...unity happens best amidst a crisis.

**Dodgeviper:** Glad you think my writing is great…that means a lot to me.

**Sis2ACesarSalad:** WOW, thanks I am glad you like this story I think my writing has gotten better since "Just Let My Blood Drip" don't you think so?...And you will see more RM moments don't worry about it.

**Hanselel:** I would go totally AU with this but it's kind of hard not to have some similarities to episodes. I am glad you will still read it; I promise fewer lines directly from eppys…its ganna be hard…but I know that can be annoying.

Click your wee buddy there and tell me what I need to change, what you liked, what you didn't, and how you thought the characters were...Please? (puppy dog eyes ensue) Thanks for the reading and what not, Converses Rolled Down.


	7. A Silhouette and a Song

Rough Edges

------------Chapter 7: A Silhouette and a Song

**A/N: **Hey, sorry I am just now staring to feel better from my surgery, and have found a little time to write. My schedule is so crazy right now that I don't know that my updates will be as frequent as you will all like them to be. Once I take my SATS again in November and the school play is over (also in November) I will have more free time to write. Senior year is not a slack off year, and if people tell you that, they're liars! Anyway, I know you all are skipping over this so I might as well stop blabbering. On with the writing,

**Dedicated: **To EVERY SINGLE ONE of my reviewers, you're what keep me writing!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The OC or the characters. I also do not own the song appearing in this chapter that would be Coldplay's "_A Message"_ but I do own a computer and hands for which to type.

Enjoy, Converses Rolled Down.

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Kirsten sipped on her bitter coffee while watching the boy's silhouette danced on the pool house doors; she didn't trust him, not in her home, not with Seth, not alone in the pool house, and definitely not at a Newport fashion show. Sandy pulled his wife into a hug and whispered a sweet 'good morning,' as he always did.  
"I don't think taking Ryan to this fashion show is such a good idea," Kirsten set her cup in the sink and turned toward her husband, "I just...there'll be trouble if he's there."

"Why do you think that?" He leaned unto the island and stuck a bagel in his mouth.

"He doesn't know what these parties are like, this is Newport he's used to Chino," she cringed as she heard Julie Cooper's voice warping into her own.

"Marissa invited him, and I think he wants to go; plus Seth will have someone to talk to with Ryan there."

"I guess you're right," she turned back to find the shadow still, facing her, "you going to check on him?"

Sandy laughed on his way outside; his wife had always been the type to ask others to do what she was too afraid to do herself.

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Summer was home now, or at least her father had told her this is what home had always been. A queen sized bed with a canopy above; a nice sized TV in the front of the room, a vanity table equipped with a telephone and makeup bags, and a large closet filled with every pair of Manolo Blahniks ever made. Had she always been shallow? Was everything she had said and done egotistical and vain? Did everyone think of her as "daddy's little girl" who got everything she wanted just by batting her eyelashes? No, her mystery voice didn't think of her that way. Her stranger knew the Summer that hid inside her, that shrunk when anyone was belittled while the outer Summer laughed and joined in.

The fashion show was in two days; that was laughable-the show had seemed so important three days ago but now was just an annoyance. Marissa was on her way over to finish up the list of girls who were going to walk down the runway. Summer opted not to flaunt herself; the bruises and cuts were too fresh on her tanned skin, and too fresh in her mind.

She pulled her quilt to her chin and stared at the purple sheet draping above her; why was life so cruel to her, so undeniably ironic and cynical? She hadn't hurt anyone-at least not physically or mentally enough to scar them. What could a suburban teen have done that would cause them to be so viciously exposed by the world? She closed her eyes and took in the music drifting from her CD player,

_My song is love  
Love to the lovely song  
And it goes on  
You don't have to be alone  
Your heavy heart  
Is made of stone  
And it's so hard to see you clearly  
You don't have to be on your own  
You don't have to be on your own _

And I'm not gonna take it back  
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that  
You're a target that I'm aiming at  
Take my message home

My song is love  
My song is love, unknown  
But I'm on fire for you, clearly  
You don't have to be alone  
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back  
Oh I'm not gonna say I don't mean that  
You're a target that I'm aiming at  
And I'm nothing on my own  
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait  
Not gonna be there until it's much too late  
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say  
That I'm nothing on my own  
And I love you, please come home

And my song is love, is love unknown  
And I've got to get that message home

If only she knew the name, the face, the love behind the stranger that whispered those words of promise in her ear every night before she slept.

"**You will get better Summer, I promise you that."**

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All right I am real sorry it was so, so, so, so, short but I only had like 30 minutes to write and I take a while to write because I am a perfectionist. I will be updating as soon as I possibly can-but my mom is on my butt about writing this instead of my college essays so I have to write either when I am at school or when she isn't home. I hope you enjoyed the update I was able to make I work hard on each update and I need encouragement if you like it because otherwise I will stop feeling motivated to write this. I know exactly where the story is going so I should be able to do a longer update when I have more time. PLEASE LEAVE A LONG REVIEW. The long ones help me to write better and I need that. Love you all, Converses Rolled Down.


	8. Counterfeit Smiles

**A/N: **It's been a while hasn't it. My college applications are all in so I don't have that in my way; I was accepted to North Carolina School of the Arts! I love writing so I will never completely disappear!

**Disclaimer: **I merely own my black converse all star high-tops.

Happy Reading, Converses Rolled Down

* * *

"Come on you have to go...I mean she asked you right?"

"Yeah...but," Ryan pulled a wife beater over his head, and then sat next to Seth on the floor of the pool house.

"But what man? She obviously wants to see you there or she wouldn't have asked you," Seth cried.

"I just don't think my going is such a good idea."

"And why the hell not?"

"Girl like that...she's bound to have a boyfriend," Ryan sighed, releasing the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Yeah, Luke, but that doesn't mean you don't have a shot."

"Yeah, Seth I'm sure you know all about getting girls," Ryan wiped his face, his trademark way of calming himself, "I didn't mean..."

"Didn't mean to tell me that I'm a loser?"

"Seth,"

"Over and done Ryan, it's all right I know what I am, but I don't need you to put me in my place."

"Seth, come on man. I didn't mean what I said."

"Yes you did, or you wouldn't have said it. It's fine Ryan really, forget it."

"No, man it's not okay. I didn't mean to make an impulsive judgment about you, I hate when people do that to me I thought I was a better person than that. But I'm not. Hey, how about I make it up to you and go with you to this fashion show?"

"Yeah man, there you go!" Seth slapped him on the back and watched Ryan's fist curl, "dude, are you alright?"

Ryan attempted a smile, "yeah I'm good. You better go get ready."

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Marissa tightened her jaw as she watched her reflection dance before her; when reality and reflection collided, she took another sip from the coffee cup. The familiar thick liquid slipped into its usual hiding place in the back of her throat as she finished tying the dress on her thin frame.

"'Rissa, hurry up honey. You don't want to be late to your own fashion show now do you?" Julie screeched from the bottom of the mansion stairs.

"Coming," Her voice cracked, and she began her trek to the stairs.

'_Steady, steady. You don't need to hurry, it's just another Newport party...Will **He** be there?' _

Her spine shivered at the thought of him, and a smile graced her face.

"You're really going to wear your hair up 'Rissa?"

Julie groaned and pulled Marissa out to the driveway.

"I thought it look good," Marissa stated absent mindedly.

"Not with a face structure like yours it doesn't," she began to fuss with Marissa's hair pulling strands in opposite directions, "there that's better."

"Thanks," Marissa said sarcastically at the sight of her hair in the car window.

------------

Summer sat eyes forward, to avoid eye contact with anyone she didn't want to speak to, with her sweater in her lap covering the bruises. Damn Marissa for talking her into coming, and sitting in the front row no less, she would get even with Marissa soon, but her mind wasn't on Marissa. Her thoughts were on that night, the night that will eternally haunt her dreams, her reality, and her life.

'_Is that him? Is he the one who raped me?'_

Every boy in the room was a suspect, and a possible savior. What rough hands explored her uninvited? From what mouth did that beautifully soothing voice come? Luke caught her eye, and she waved him over to her table. Luke Ward was a good guy, deeper down, he cared for Marissa and he genuinely worried about Summer.

"Hey Summer, how's it goin'?"

"Could be better," she avoided his eyes, some pity laid within them but Summer didn't want pity from some water polo player who was probably friends with her rapist.

"Well, it's good to see you out."

"Out? As opposed to in bed mourning?" Summer yelled, standing. The sweater fell to the floor, a light sound but one that didn't go unheard.

Luke drew his arm down and picked up her sweater, "here. Look, I'm just glad you're here, alright?"

Summer sat slowly back down, she whispered, "Thank you," and turned her eyes back to the stage.

Luke took the hint and walked over to a much more contented looking group of people.

A delicate hand found its way to Summer's shoulder, "Summer?"

------------

Kirsten studied the room, looking for a potential for conversation, but found no one fit for the job. Sandy drew his hand from her waist, and turned her toward him.

"It's going to be okay," he searched her eyes; he needed a reason for her mood.

"I know that. I worry more about Seth than I do about Ryan."

"No need to worry about me momma," Seth laughed.

"Seth, go find Ryan and yourself a seat," Sandy demanded.

He saluted and pulled Ryan toward the tables by his forearm, "come on Ry."

Sandy waited until Seth and Ryan had disappeared into the crowd, "Ryan's good for him."

Kirsten smiled, "I love you."

"Hey there's my wife, would you mind staying a little longer that other lady scares me...in fact, she reminds me of Julie Cooper," Sandy leaned in and kissed her nose and took her hand.

Kirsten slapped his chest, "Don't ever compare me to,"

"Julie," Sandy croaked.

Julie Cooper made her way towards the couple squealing "Kirsten you made it!"

"Julie," Kirsten returned Julie's, surgically manufactured, smile with her own most convincing one.


End file.
